Bubbie's Seder was never like this: Herod's wife is already drunk, so he asks his step-daughter Salome for a lap-dance. She'd rather kiss John the Baptist on the mouth, but all he does is shout Bible verses at her, which is really annoying. One of Herod's guards is crazy in love with Salome and gets so jealous, he just up and kills himself right there. In the background, some Jewish scholars argue about the Talmud, but Herod insists on that lap-dance. Salome plays along if it means she can get that kiss, and before you can say "Dayenu" or "silver platter," she ruins Seder for everyone. The whole thing is just sick, sick, sick, and is set to some of the most thrilling, luscious music you ever heard.