Actor Steven Toast is informed by agent Jane Plough that Braz magazine have awarded him a Best Actor award. As a result he is interviewed by journalist Susan Random, to whom he is attracted, despite her being an alcoholic and extreme hoarder, whose house is full of junk. He is also pursued by Jemima Gina, who wears an electronic tag after being found guilty of trying to murder her boyfriend and who follows him to Susan's house. Both women discover that they like collecting beaks but the romance is killed for Steven. House-mate Ed is hosting a Nigerian girl-friend Kikini, though, as a result of deliberately botched plastic surgery by Ray Purchase, a rogue cosmetician and ex-actor rival to Toast, she looks just like Bruce Forsyth. Thus, when Steven learns that the award is actually for Worst Actor, who better to send along in his stead to collect it than 'Bruce' himself?