- Writers: David Crane, Marta Kauffman
- Stars: Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc
Joey unexpectedly gets a part in a movie about soldiers in World War I but his famous co-star Richard Crosby keeps spitting in his face for the sake of articulation. Ross makes everybody burst into laughter by threatening Chandler physically if he ever hurts his little sister. Chandler and Monica have their rehearsal dinner and after seeing his sexy celebrity mother and drag-queen dad, Chandler suddenly freaks out thinking about becoming "Mr. and Mrs Bing." He freaks out more when he hears the new answering machine message Monica recorded, so he writes a vague apology note and runs. Ross finds it and goes looking for Chandler while Phoebe and Rachel attempt to divert Monica, who is too wedding-high to notice soon anyway. Rachel and Phoebe find a positive pregnancy test in Monica's bathroom waste basket.