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- Writers: David Crane, Marta Kauffman
- Stars: Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc,
Chandler has gone to extreme trouble to get Kathy the ideal birthday gift, a special edition of her favorite book; Ross points out he can't totally outdo her boyfriend Joey - who didn't even plan to give her anything - so he must get an even cooler gift. Phoebe tells Monica not to turn down a major funeral catering event for lack of equipment and advances the money, but wants it straight back before there's nearly enough profit; so they become active business partners - which proves good, as their first client, a widow, would never have paid without Phoebe's street persistence. Ross' foxy girlfriend Cheryl's flat turns out to be sloppier than a bachelor frat room, and yet she says his place has a weird smell. He is just relieved when the creeping creature he kills in disgust is not her hamster, but 'just a rat'. Since Joey can't find anything better than a pen annex clock, Chandler lets him give the 'Velveteen Rabbit'; fortunately Kathy guesses the truth.